Choosing Green. 

You know that exhausted feeling after the beach? That drive home when you were a kid in the back of the car, wishing you could stay awake but your eyes are so heavy that the ice cream your parents got you is slowly melting in your hands? The hot car plus your washed off sandy shoes, is just a recipie for an amazing nap. 

Today, was 91 degrees. Hot. The sun in Israel is strong and someone from the U.S. like myself, takes time getting used to sun like this, and boy, right now, sitting in my bed, I am exhausted. Just walking 2 miles today made me- hot. Sun, sandy shoes exhausted. All I want to do is shower and lay in my bed and let my body drift off into a heavy, deep sleep. 

Unfortunately though, I am not always in control of what I want. 

And that’s a fact of life- 

We are not always in control of what we want. 

My school organized a dorm activity tonight to play dodge ball, a fun friendly game, girls against girls, just to have us spend some quality time together before we go home. It’s a really nice idea! And I love dodgeball and I want to be “into it,” but I’m so tired! 

What can I do? 

Does this ever happen to you? You had a full day of classes and all you want to do is roll up under your covers and watch the next six episodes of Two and a Half Men? But you have a 200 word paper due tomorrow on the theory of why giraffes have purple toungs? 

What do you do? How do you change your focus? How do you decide that you are going to have a good time or do the essay with enthusiasm? 

It’s all in your control. 

We may not have control over the situation in which we have to participate in, or the responsibility we don’t want to deal with, but we do have control over our additude we pay towards it. 

You can just chose that you’re going to do the essay with enthusiasm. Yes it’s easier to just lay and watch TV for the next 4 hours, but, the effort that you put into the essay, you’ll reap the benefits of that for much longer than you would the benefits from the comfort from laying in bed. 

Effort vs. Comfort. 

(Told you I’d get back to that) 

So me, here, laying in bed before the dodgeball game. I have to now make a conscious decision that I am going to have fun, and I am going to enjoy the game, as exausted as I am. Because the effort I put in to going to the game and being in a good mood will benifit me for much longer in the social compartment, than me giving into my body and sleeping for an extra hour. 

Chosing to be happy, confident, excited, enthusiastic, a smarter person. All work the same way! 

Hey, why didn’t they just tell me I can just chose to be smart back in high school?! 

Wish me luck in dodgeball! 

Go team green! 

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To run? To be happy?

I’m dealing with the dilemma right now of waking up tomorrow morning, not litteraly, im not sure how that would make sense… Anyways, I don’t know if I should wake up and go for a run tomorrow or just wake up and get a few extra zzz’s. The problem is, is that my roomate is going for a run tomorrow and if she comes back all sweaty and rejuvenated, I’ll be jealous, and then feel bad that I didn’t go on a run. 
What my problem?

I’ll tell you!

I’m already determining my happiness level for tomorrow. A day that hasn’t even arrived yet! I’m chosing whether or not I’ll be happy based upon something that didn’t even happen yet! 

Okay, if you read that you’ll realize that, we have this amazing ability! We get to choose whether or not to be happy! 

Being happy rocks, right? So why not choose it all the time? Even if you are in an annoying situation, if you choose to no longer see it as annoying, and laugh at it. You are now in control!

Why do we always not choose to be happy?! It sounds awesome! 

Good question. I struggle with this myself. I think it’s because it takes conscious hard work, and most of us don’t like to consciously work hard when we don’t have to, so we don’t. But if we realized the benefits of what we can gain from choosing happiness, we’d be living better more fulfilled lives! 

I’ve been super homesick these past few days, and it’s been extremely difficult to choose happiness. But the knowledge of the ability that I withhold is what’s helping me get through. I know I am in control. 

Our mind has abilities that we can’t even begin to comprehend. Learning about them is the first step to discovering a new world. 

I’m gonna sleep in tomorrow. 

Zzz. 

Israel’s Crappy Easter. 

So usually when I write on this blog (meaning the past 2 days) I just begin writing without thinking about what I’m going to write before hand. Since I’ve been so fascinated with the fact that people have actually been looking at my blog I’ve felt this sort of pressure to deliver something great, better than the past 2 days. I found myself thinking about what I was going to write tonight throughout the day today, which in a way was fun, but also it made me feel like this was becoming somewhat of a required writing, bringing back feelings of high school when I’d have an assignment do and it would be constantly on my mind ’till the last minute until I’d finally get it done. And I didn’t like that. 

So I took my own lesson to heart, and let those pressuring thoughts pass, and decided I’m just going to write and see what comes to mind. 

Today was a holiday. Today, 67 years ago Israel was declared a Jewish State with an independent government. Well, actually tomorrow. But Israeli government rules that if the day falls out on the calendar on a Friday it’s automatically switched to Thursday. So, today was a fake holiday. Tomorrow is a real holiday, but we want to celebrate like true nationalists with BBQs and flags and have a proper day off, so we celebrated a day early. No big deal. 

But it is! 

I think. 

Wait for it, I’m not a political person at all, so don’t get bored. 

Isreal declaring its government is a big deal, and a huge victory for the Jews post the Holocaust, but honestly, I wasn’t feeling it. 

My stomach was though. 

Let me tell you what the weather was like today. 

      “It’s the beginning of April and the    weather is beginning to warm up and that spring high is in the air, Easter Sunday is coming up and the long awaited family fun filled day has finally arrived and its – Freezing. 40 degrees. Wet. 25 mph Winds. The worst. Your fingers get frostbite just from leaving your living room fire (which you haven’t lit since December.)” 

That was today. 

Today was a holiday! We wanted our Independence Day BBQ and fireworks!

Holidays mean no school, on a crappy day like today my friends, whom have many different ‘interests’ than I, decided to go to the Israel Bible Museum, and I tagged along, being the dedicated friend that I am, because  who doesn’t want to spend their vacation day at a bible museum?! 

We’re waiting for the bus to come to the bus stop (which we had to take a bus to) and we’re there 10 minutes, no bus, 20 minutes, 25 minutes. #66 comes- 

“Does this go to the museum campus?”

“Other side of the street!” 

OMG. 

Okay, so, facing the cold biting wind we crossed the street to the other bus stop- and then, it hit. 

I need the bathroom. Now. 

No, like, not a joke. 

I had forgotten about my diareeah I had had that morning because I had shitted out all my insides so there was nothing left to excrete, but right before I left I had some soup, and now nature was calling! 

So I suggested to my friends that- ‘clearly no bus was coming and that we should cab it back to school since it’s freezing out and I felt a rain drop.’ (Which I did!)

And our bus came. 

Crap. 

As I’m fidgeting in my seat we get to the museum and I bolt off, as I feel the remains of Mount St. Helens about to explode inside of me, or outside for that matter, I run.

The museum was closed. 

Crap. (Literally) 

I’m wearing a white skirt!!! (And a thong- WHY TODAY?!) 

15$, and a 10 minute cab ride later, I stumbled to my dorm bathroom like a cubby kid trying to hold all of his candy before he gets home on Halloween (but I wasn’t holding candy.) and I made it to the coveted white throne. 

In the past that ‘white throne’ was a dirty piece of plastic that I never believed I would survive a year going to the bathroom on, but to me today that dirty piece of plastic was my best friend. 

Talk about perspective, huh?

You never know when those old, ugly “out of season” shoes may become your new cherished item. 

So what does this have to do with Israel becoming a state? 

Well what’s your perspective? 

But for those apathetic to its significance, keep in mind-

It’s NOT a whole load of crap. 

 

Thought Nature.

Me, being my “too lazy to write” self,  (Note- I’m not lazy at all, just to write.) really needed some motivation to write a second post. So, when I saw my blog had 4 views, I assumed 3 of them to be me, and 1 to be my sister in law, but then I saw that 3 of them are from the United States and only 1 is from Israel I realized that- it must be true! 2 people I didn’t tell to read my blog read it!!! And motivation occurred. So here I am. Writing.

Through that, you now know that I am living in Israel. Why? I’m here studying for a year, I actually live in the U.S. but for 9 months, September to June I’m getting college credit to “rediscover my self” in an institution that teaches self knowledge and growth. Hence my tag line- “my daily journey to self discovery.”  So, sounds pretty cool right? Yes. It is. When phrased like that, “Come to our school! We will teach you secrets to the mind and who you really are!” It is great, the information is extremely valuable and I hope to share much of it with you, but they don’t mention on the brochure- “You’ll be living in a place with mold in the showers, and bugs in the toilets! You will be with girls whom have many different ‘intrests,’ so to say, than you! You will have 2 roommates (one of which who you will have to live with for a month until you realize that the problem is, is that you will kill eachother if you contiue living together for another day.) They don’t mention the fact that they only serve canola oil at meals, with a touch of vegetables and rice, (oh- and by vegetables I mean peas and potatoes.) And that, every weekend you are on your own! Sayonara! Go find a place to live Friday night and Saturday, you cannot come back until Saturday night! And be in class bright and early Sunday morning 9:00AM!

I love it here.

No, really I do.

Something I’ve learnt through much of my life experience is that we chose how we react, we have the power to decide whether or not we will be upset, mad, angry, happy, etc. Yes, given, I’m in a sucky situation. My bed feels like it’s been stuffed by the boy who found the needle in the hay stack, but I have the power to not allow that to upset me.

How?

The nature of a thought is to pass. 

If I dwell on negative thoughts and allow myself to get into conversations with these negative thoughts, they’ll just circle, around and around my head, building up and becoming thinker and thicker, and it would become a cloud of negative thoughts.

‘My bed feels like straw. I hate my bed. Therefore I hate my room, Uch I hate that I have a roomate! I hate this dorm! I hate the fact that the school can’t afford better dorms! I hate the school!’

Woah.

‘I hate the school that’s given me so much? So much knowledge and amazing information? An amazing school that’s given me the opportunity to live in a dorm to live in Jerusalem?! You know how many people would kill to have a place to live in Jeruslaem with 3 meals a day? A school that has world renoud teachers that I have the opportunity to build relationships with and have intellectual arguments with? I love my living situation! I love my teachers! I love my school!’

See what I did there?

I changed my focus. We have the ability to change our thoughts. If I just let the thought of ‘my bed feels like straw’ pass, which it would. Because, the nature of a thought is to pass, I have the ability to fill my mind with a positive thought and let that turn into a conversation in my mind instead of the negative ones.

Our minds are like computers, you can either use it for its obvious features, or learn about the amazing capabilities it withholds and how much you can actually do with it.

The Start of Something New. 

So you know the “I really want to do “x” but I’m too lazy to do it” feeling? Or the “I should’ve done that a long time ago, and it’s too late now” feeling? Okay. So I have that feeling. Too often.

Yes, granted I’m only 18 and  “I’m so young” and I “have a whole life ahead of me” but I’ve done so much already and I kinda wish I wrote or blogged or scrapbooked about it then. At thing point I’m kinda like… well it’s too late to start telling anyone about my life now because it’s BORING.

What do I do everyday? Wake up. Go to class. Eat. Go to class. Eat. Go to sleep. And repeat. Everyday. The same cycle.

So what then actually brought me starting this blog? My thoughts changed to thoughts of action.

Effort  vs.  Comfort

(I’ll get back to that)

I was living a life on autopilot, letting every day come and go without actually accomplishing anything worth talking about, until I chose to wake up. My life is awesome! I started telling myself, I have a life full of experience worth sharing and so much knowledge to share.

So I decided to stop surviving and start living.